I have a story I tell sometimes about getting my kids to brush their teeth using the Sugar Bug mythos, and sometimes (only on the internet…
I have a story I tell sometimes about getting my kids to brush their teeth using the Sugar Bug mythos, and sometimes (only on the internet really) I’ll get this argument…
You shouldn’t need to make up fantasy stories to do things that you just need to do.
Bullshit.
Look me in the eye and tell me you never experienced a feeling of pride due to accomplishing something, or getting an award, or some other complimentary experience. I hate to break it to you but every one of those things is a fabricated, self designed fantasy to make yourself feel better about your self and your life.
But I worked for that pride. But I earned it.
But you are proving my point. You played the role of the archetypal toiling underdog who found good fortune at the end of their performance. You set a goal of “If I do this then I give myself pride.” and then you did it.
Did you need the pride that came with the award? No. But you gave it to yourself anyway. Why did you do that?
You did it because it gave meaning to your struggle. Getting an award has no meaning without a personal fantasy about how good you are or how good you’ve done.
You enact the same story driven fantasy when you tell yourself about how you are the ‘beast of burden’, taking on all these problems with little or no help; or when your ‘heart is broken’ over a lost romance; or when you finally beat the boss on that video game; or publish a book.
You give yourself a story, and the story makes you feel, and your life gains meaning and depth.
It’s not silly, it’s the human condition. Stop pretending you aren’t fantasizing your entire life and you’ll unlock an entirely other world of your own power.
What does that mean? It means instead of reflexively and unconsciously giving yourself these fantasies, you do it with purpose. Here’s what it looks like when you start casting your own spells:
If I gain another 25 pounds of muscle I’ll be like a warrior.
This book got me through the worst time in my life. It’s a sacred artifact to me now and I will display it as such in my home.
The next time I see my girlfriend I’m going to surprise her, then I’ll really be a romantic.
The biggest villain in my life right now is obscurity. No one knows who I am because Obscurity’s black cloak has been covering me this whole time. I can’t believe I’ve let it go on this long. It stops now!
Don’t you see? The fantasies were so meaningful to you that you had already been making them up without a second thought. Now you can create them with purpose and ambition.
Live mythically.
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